back from pi! =] had a really goOd time.. didnt even wanna leave =[ i wanted to stay but then agen i didnt.. iono.. hopefully next year.. but hmM toO much to say bout my trip so lets just talk bout them highlights.. cousin toOk me to go scuba diving with her bf and my lil cousin! saw nemo =] and dory and that other one and some other fishies =] and patrick! haha.. got braces =] finally.. it was the weirdest feeling in the beginning.. but i guess im used to it now.. got a facial.. a body scrub massage.. did a reband on my hair.. haha dayum my cousin toOk me and my mom everywhere.. i loOoOOve her! had a goOd time cuz of her.. went bowling and played poOl with everyone.. freakin they play hardcore over there! haha it was fun =] my nephew don don made me hecka happy! he was the cutest thing! i miss him =[ everything he said and did made me laugh.. =] and my niece! freakin had the cutest lil voice.. =] i miss her toO =[ dang man.. i wanna go back.. but when i came here i guess it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be.. i had a goOd time right when i came here.. me and abii, andang, francis, and my kuya went to cali pizza to have lunch.. freakin francis is hilarious! he just kept making us laugh.. then we went to youth and i had a goOd time there toO =] i missed them faces! youth.. one of the reasons i love it here =] then me, abii, andang, francis, my kuya, devin, sam, jun, tin, and kuya bri went to extraordianry desserts after.. had fun =] francis was makin us laugh agen.. but then when jun, tin, and kuya bri came they were all doing magic tricks hahaha freakin i was like what the cuz they were all making it obvious.. iono but it was funNy =] we had to leave cuz it was gettig late.. so we came home round 1-2 .. slept over abiis.. then yepz.. back home.. duNno what im gon do today.. hopefuLly sumtin.. for now i just go play with my lil niece =]

yesterday.. had another fun day with ate jos, andrea, and melisa =] woke up and got ready to go eat sushi with them =] haha and when we were at andreas house.. some guy name brian tried to holLeRrrR at ate. hahaha it was funny =] then yeah we went to this one sushi place iono what it was called hahah but it was goOoOod =] then we left to go to mission to watch white chicks.. funny funny =] then we went to target and just loOked around.. then yeah we went home.. we were bout to go to starbucks but they had no power so they were closed! =[ mannnnn i was saaaadd.. haha it was funny cuz we were all making it dramatic.. but yeah.. so i went home.. then went to abis... me laura and abi were just talkin bout stuff.. then i left for church.. then went back to abis.. cornrowed her hair as usual..okay so freakin this was my night.. laura was on the phone with her bf and she was crying cuz he was moving.. then i hear bout erick and may.. then i see abi crying and so i try to open her door but i couldnt so i asked kuya aaron.. but even there i saw him and his gf like having problems.. and i was like omg whats going on! cuz seriously that was just too much problems i saw for one day.. but freakin you know i was like im happy that im healing from my problems.. im happy that im not hurting as bad anymore.. cuz then the people that helped me are the people thats hurting now.. and im glad i can help them.. cuz if i was still hurting as bad.. then i couldnt have handled helping everyone else with their problems.. so yeah =] but erick and may.. welpz you guys were the one i really got to talk to bout your problems.. i know its hard may.. i know exactly how you feel.. but i know youll get through this cuz youre strong and so patient and humble.. and erick toO.. man i know what you did was hard.. but dayum after talkin to you last night.. i think youll do just fine.. but yeah guys.. itll take a while.. weeks.. months.. years.. the pain doesnt go away that fast.. and it sux.. but its how it is.. you guys got alot of people to help you through it.. and im glad to be one of them =] haha you guys make me soOooO happy you dont even know.. talking to you guys is like talkin to a best friend that i havent seen in a long time.. cuz we can like talk on and on and on bout everything.. haha dayum you both killed my phone.. haha dont you feel special.. hahah =] and talking to jun last night too.. dayum it made me happy.. he made me happy for some reason.. but yeah just talking to him like that made me smile.. =] awright just take alotTa care.. bout to go pack for pi.. and bout to pack up for mays house.. yayee the two.. three plus nette.. brokenhearted girls are gon hang out today =] guy shopPing? hahah syyyke.. yeah right... kayyy byeeeeeeee

may me nette.. [picture 7 hours later] waiting for the trolLey =]

this is prolly gon be my last blog til i come back from pi.. so everyone please take alotTa care.. i gonna miss you guys =[ laura you better stay outta trouble.. be a goOd gurl.. abi.. three weeks without going to your house.. dayum thats gonna hurt! haha.. but yeah just stay happy =] ate jos! melisa! andrea! you guys said.. according to cyn.. there'll be nothing.. NOTHING thats gonna happen while jamies gone! =] haha.. jun.. jun.. jun.. heh.. umM.. i dunno what to say but ilL miss you and i hope your summer continues to go great.. please take alotta care for me.. i wanna come back knowing everything is awright kayy? =] i love you.. the left over familes.. haha have fun.. erick..may.. keep your heads up.. dayum your favorite talker isnt gon be here anymore! hahah kidDing.. you guys take care.. the homies.. you guys have fun.. iono what you guys are really up to but hope everythings goin goOd.. kaayyy guys.. til august 5... byeee! i love youuuuuu! mMmuah!

oOweEeEe this was one of the best days ive had ever since that crap! omg just hanging out with ate josie, andrea, and melisa awWw man i had the most laughs ever! never thought a day like this would come anytime soon. but omg awright welpz imma continue writing in this i guess.. awright so this was my day. after our youth meeting.. me ate josie melisa and andrea went to starbucks to chill.. we talked bout some stuff and man did they say the right things! hahaha they gave me like the perfect advice =] i love talking to them! then we decided to go to andreas work, extraordinary desserts so we went to WAMUuU to go get some money.. then went to andreas work and got some desserts.. omg it was D'LISH! haha then we got all lost around downtown! hahaha! then after that we headed to IKEA cuz andreas moving soon so we went to look for some furniture.. it was hecka fun in there.. haha my spinning chair! aww that was funnn! then me and melisa went to go draw and we left it on the magnet wall thingy.. haha.. then we left to go to ralphs to buy some LAUGHING COW CHEESE! hahahhahahahhaha! that was our main subject today.. man it was crazy! specially in the car! woOoo i would hang out with them gurlz anytime! i LOVED today! i swear i couldnt stop laughing and smiling.. i couldnt even breathe at extraordinary desserts cuz of all them laughter! haha..man i miss them already =[ heh. but yeah they showed me a really goOd time.. then they dropped me off but stayed for a while and talked about "plans" and stuffysz. :sigh: this is just what i needed.. away from the depression.. but after today.. i think im gonna be okay from now on =] being single is just gonna be fun for me =] thanx guys for the talk and just for hanging out.. it got alot off my mind =] tuesday? haha cant wait =]

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man.. iono but yesterday people just kept making me happy =] like after i got home i went online and talked to erick cuz i saw his info and i wanted to see whats up.. so yeah we talked and dayum man.. like freakin he was there as if he were one of my best friends.. we were talkin bout his problems.. my problems.. and it felt so good just knowing there was someone whos in the same position as jun and it was like now i know how jun felt.. but iono for sure.. but still.. like the least person i expected to be there was the one that actually was.. so yeah we were talking for a while and then i decided to talk to may.. and omg we found out we were more alike than we thought! haha i mean it was the funniest thing.. like we were talking on the phone til like 4 in the morning and the whole conversation was basically "omg im like that toO!" "omg erick/jun is like that toO!" hahah iono but dayum it felt like we've been friends like forever.. cuz like that was the first time i talked to her and yeah it was kinda weird and random but it was like we can talk on and on bout anything.. haha we like killed eachothers phone so thats why we hadda go.. but yeah dang i love that gurl.. like she made me realize.. im not the only one in this world feeling the way i feel.. theres always gonna be someone else.. and that was her.. it was nice talkin to her.. she made me feel alot better.. so yeah gurl hope everything goes awright with you.. yeah you may be hurting but we're all gonna hurt and yeah we're still young.. like its been said.. if you really love them let them go.. if they come back.. then it was always meant to be.. but yeah keep your head up.. ya know you got me and other people whenever your feeling confused or lost or if you just need someone to talk to.. haha member youre like my late night talker now! haha but yeah hopefully we do get to hang out before i leave.. since we have nothing to do anymore haha.. take much care and keep smiling =] eat may eat! haha and ill eat toO =] haha guys.. eating and sleeping.. how do they do it? hahaha just playing.. just wait when i sleep over..then we can pig out ;]

imma be off the comp for a while.. do sumtin new with my life other than spending it online. on the phone. watching tv. and crying over little things thinking theres no purpose. well today during my devotional time i realized that theres so much God has in store for me and instead of laggin on tryna find it, imma spend most of my days just meditating on the word to find out my purpose in life. cuz i realize now, that i need to change. time is the most valuable thing we got and i thought to myself why spend it on little things when i can do sumtin to make every minute worth living. as if it were my last. i encourage you find your purpose before its too late. i know that God put each of us here to live for Him and so many people in this world just dont realize it. they think we have no God. but its all denial. cuz who do you think brought you here? who do you think gave you a family? a home? the one who loves us the most gave us everything. dont you think its time you owe him back? your love. its all he wants. you can give it to a girl or a guy anytime you want when they did nothing compared to what God has done and given you? he gave you this world. dont waste your time living here for nothing. when your time comes, youll regret it when you realize you didnt try to find something better to do with your life. because of a friend of mine, my whole life can change for the better. i thought i would hurt because of what he did and i was so close to leaving this world with so much anger and pain building up inside of me, but because of all the hurt and pain, i grew to realize that even because of that, theres a purpose and God meant it for good. because now.. i know that something good is gonna happen at the end. just like a tootsie pop =] it takes a long time to get to the good part, but when you finally reach it, it was all worth it. no matter how long it takes for you to realize that theres a God and that theres something better for you out there, when God is finally the one in your life, your life is so much worth living. to some people they may not take this to heart. they may just be like "whatever i dont care." they may not understand. yeah itll hurt, but im happy to know that atleast i tried. if just these words can change someone, just one person, then just these past ten minutes of typing this would be so worth it.

change will happen. whether its for the better or for the worst.

                                  but at the end, remember, it was your choice.

                     .your life is based on the choices you make.

thursday i went over to abi's house to sleep over just to get away from the house. then we headed to plaza so she can buy a present for the boifriend aaron. so i suggested things remembered cuz they got some nice stufFys in there. so she ended up buying a frame which we worked on that night. then she bought some dye that made her hair like bright red/pink! haha its cool. then i bought some dye [blueish/black] then yeah got to abis house and dyed our hair. haha we were all pissed cuz it wouldnt come off our bodies that accidently spilled. we freakin tried water. soap. hand sanitizer. lotion. neutrogena. shaving. nail polish remover [which was the most effective one]. bleach. oxy clean hahahaha! . and cooking oil. dang and by now i still have it =/ but yeah i was happy on how my hair turned out =]

friday me abi and laura went to go take pics at excel. ehH i didnt like any of it but had no money to retake. so yeah had to pick whatever. then we walked to super sergios for some carne asada fries. hecka funny time cuz of this one chick sitting across from us. omg she was just erR! haha but it was funny. then we freakin walked to plaza. just to chill or whatever. then yeah took some pics with abis digi. then got picked up by tita. i went home and got ready for youth. then ate josie picked me up. and we got to church. and yeah had a good/ fun time. we picked up josh from jr's house and while we waited we talked bout a grip of stuff in the van. then me. jun. tin. josh. kuya bri. and aaron went to super sergios agen to buy some food. then yeah went to drop off aaron and everyone went down to check out his house cept for me cuz i didnt feel like it so i stayed in the van. i kept thinking bout things which made me cry. kuya bri came and started to talk to me. he sed it was all gon be okay. then jun came and wiped the tears from my cheeks agen. =] made me feel alot better. and held me for a long time. even though we're just friends now, i know he still cares about me the same way he did when we were still together. im happy to know that for sure =] 

                            i love him.

                                                                and im pretty sure i always will.